The Next Big Thing!

The Next Big Thing is a blog campaign that began in Australia. It features children and YA authors who have recently published books or books slated to be released this year.

Each author answers the same series of questions and then passes the buck to other authors. The terrific and talented Jenny Meyerhoff tagged me.

So, here goes:

1) What is the working title of your next book?

I’ve got two coming out in the Fall so I’ll plug them both: The Pet War (November) and The Contagious Colors of Mumpley Middle School (September). The latter is under an alias: Fowler DeWitt.

MumpleyCoverCroppedAW

2) Where did the idea come from for the book?

I wish I had a clever story about how I had pets as a kid (I didn’t ) or how a mysterious contagious disease made stripes appear on my skin (nope), but I don’t.  My theory: mysterious idea leprechauns break into bedrooms at night with their muse dust (patent pending).

 3) What genre does your book fall under?

“Humorous middle grade with a heart of gold.” That is a category at Barnes and Noble, right?

4) What actors would you choose to play the part of your characters in a movie rendition?

Kid actors are a dime a dozen, so I’d transform the books into a mash up of adult drama and cliff hanging suspense. Brad Pitt plays multiple roles, and  Jennifer Lawrence is the mysterious dog trainer who catches a deadly disease (my movie is also a mash up of both my books). Robert Pattinson reprises his role as Edward Cullen, which has nothing to do with my books but should attract the teenage girls and assure box office success, so I’ll write him in somehow. Same with Taylor Lautner. Academy-award worthy cameos by Philip Seymour Hoffman and Judi Dench as teachers plotting various plots, complete the above-title credits.

brad-pitt-300

Brad Pitt plays 24 different roles, 17 with speaking parts and 7 in which he has facial hair.

images

Robet Pattinson plays Edward Cullen just because.

 5) What is the one-sentence synopsis of your book?

The Pet War: Otto and his annoying older sister fight over adopting a pet—pitting themselves in a battle of love and war, wits and money making, while learning the importance of responsibility and locking the door to your bedroom.

The Contagious Colors of Mumpley Middle School: When a mysterious illness sweeps through school and kids start changing colors with alarming consequences, sixth grade scientist Wilmer Dooley must find a cure … before it’s too late.

6) Who is publishing your book?

The Pet War: Scholastic

The Contagious Colors of Mumpley Middle School: Simon & Schuster

 7) How long did it take you to write the first draft of the manuscript?

Three to four weeks apiece. But I write my first drafts quickly. It’s drafts #’s 2 through 30 that create problems.

8) What other books would you compare this story to within your genre?

The Pet War: Humorous books with warring siblings, like Diary of a Wimpy Kid. Also, books with “war” in the title: War and Peace, War and Remembrance, The Art of War, The Autobiography of Dionne Warwick, et al.

dionne-warwick-why-we-sing-frontal-630576620

Mumpley: Books by Lemony Snicket and Roald Dahl, in terms of quirky humor.

charlie

9) Who or what inspired you to write this book?

I love writing books that make me laugh and that I would have loved to read when I was a kid. So I was inspired by 10-year old me.

10) What else about the book might pique the reader’s interest?

Hidden inside one book is a check for one billion dollars!

Seriously, The Pet War has sibling rivalry, dogs, cats and vomit. Mumpley Middle School has evil plans, romance, horrible diseases and also vomit. What’s not to like, especially if you’re into vomit? If you’re an 8-12 year-old boy, a reluctant reader or an avid one, you’ll love these. They’re perfect for the back of the school bus, before falling asleep, or while being attacked by carrier pigeons (while unlikely to happen, you can never be too sure). And if you’re an adult who sometimes acts like an 8-12 year old, then you should love these, too.

Again, thanks to Jenny Meyerhoff for tagging me. Go ahead and read her answers now! And next week, check out the blogs of awesome authors Amber McRee Turner, Shelley Moore Thomas and Shelby Bach for their answers — Amber, Shelly and Shelby, you’re up!

Posted in Random Musings, Writing | 6 Comments

How To Write a Bad Book

I’m doing NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month, where you write a novel in a month) again this year. I did it two years ago with mixed results.

The good – I wrote and finished a book.

The bad – it wasn’t very good.

I then spent the next six to eight months trying to make it very good. And I failed.

So it sits on my hard drive (and my back up external hard drive) along with my other failed books: the boy vampire book, the haunted middle school book, the mysterious baseball star book, the possessed soccer ball book, the boy who ate a walrus book, etc.

Yes, all those books exist. And all aren’t very good. They are all good ideas, but I failed them.

So writing a bad book isn’t new for me, or rather failing in writing a good one. In general, it takes me 4-6 months to write a good book, and 8-12 months to write a bad one that I abandon.

I should just give up after seven months, figuring if it takes me that long it’s not very good. Except I’ve been working for almost two years on my favorite book of them all, so I won’t follow that advice.

I won’t mention that one, since I’m afraid I’ll jinx it. Although after almost two years, it’s probably jinxed already.

By the way, I usually am working on more than one book at a time. That’s how I can write so many bad ones. Right now I’m working on three books, including my new NaNoWriMo book.

I write many more bad books then good books. My goal is to just figure that out quicker.

In advertising, where I began my career, they say the difference between a starting copywriter and an experienced one, is that the starter comes up with 12 ideas but doesn’t know which ones are good. The senior comes up with six ideas, but knows exactly if they’re good or not.

So I’m hoping that same philosophy holds true with book writing. I feel like I’m exiting my beginning stage and going to the next phase, the mid-level phase. But really, qualifying for that phase will depend almost entirely on how fast I can recognize my bad book ideas versus my good ones.

I’m hoping my NaNoWriMo book is one of my good ones. I’ll let you know in six months.

Posted in Random Musings | 1 Comment

The Pet War

Hot off the wire from Publisher’s Marketplace …

Allan Woodrow’s THE PET WAR, a humorous novel about a brother and sister who compete to raise enough money to buy either a dog or a cat for the family, and how things get a little ugly before they learn to work together, to Jody Corbett at Scholastic, for publication in fall 2013, by Joanna Volpe at New Leaf Literary & Media.

Posted in Big News, Writing | 2 Comments

I Obsess, Therefore I Am

I drove to Naperville (Illinois) last night to watch an author panel (Veronica Roth, Dan Krokos, Leigh Bardugo, Susan Dennard, Erica O’Rourke) at the legendary Anderson’s Bookstore, and then grabbed dinner and drinks with the panelists, fab agents Joanna Volpe and Suzie Townsend of New Leaf Literary & Media, and others.

Traffic was horrible. I parked my car a few blocks away but arrived about three minutes late. It was packed with a few hundred people. Despite rows of seats, I had to stand in the way back where I could only see by standing on my tip toes.

In my car was my workbag. In my workbag was my laptop. On my laptop is everything I’ve ever written, pretty much.

As I stood in the back I started thinking: did I lock my car?

I went through exactly what I did after I parked. But I just couldn’t remember pressing the automatic lock. I started thinking of someone opening the trunk and stealing my workbag. When was the last time I backed anything up? Two months ago? Three? My editorial changes for one book, and another, and the first draft of a new book, and half a first draft of another book … all unsaved?

I didn’t hear anything the panel said for the next ten minutes as I started to question why I hadn’t backed anything up (I had a laptop stolen from me a few years ago, and a computer crash on me many years ago … both cases I lost a lot of writing …  So this is a valid fear). I pictured a gang of drunken thieves running off with my workbag. I couldn’t get the image out of head.

I kept checking the time. Why can’t this panel end already? Talk faster! Isn’t it almost over? I have to check my car!

Finally, I couldn’t stand it anymore. The panel wasn’t quite over but I dashed out of the building anyway. Ran for two blocks, and then forgot where I parked.

Oh, and it was like 90 degrees outside and I was dripping sweat by now.

Ten minutes later I found the parking garage. Went up to the fifth floor (why is the elevator taking so long?) looked for my car amid the thousands of other cars. There it was. I hurried over, wiping sweat from my forehead.

The car was locked.

All was OK.

My trusty flash drive

I keep a flash drive in my workbag. I opened my trunk, backed up the last two months of writing to my flash drive, plunged it in my pocket so if the laptop was stolen I’d still have my files, closed the trunk, LOCKED THE CAR, and went back to Anderson’s bookstore.

Obsessive? Just a wee bit.

I really need to come up with a better back-up system, though.

Posted in Random Musings, Writing | 4 Comments

New Children’s Reading System

Yesterday, a woman came up to me. She said she heard I wrote children’s books. “What did you do before that?” she asked, assuming my vast children book riches allowed me a life of luxurious writing with no other day-to-day job needed.

Ha!

Unfortunately, very few children authors can give up their day jobs, and most of them make more money giving school visits than they do in actual book earning dollars. I always explain it this way:

  • Adult author audience: Ages 19 to 110
  • My typical audience: Ages 7-12

So, I have a vastly smaller potential reader population. And very few of them have much in the way of disposable incomes.

So I propose a new reading system. Yes, this is purely in my self-interest, but that’s how the best inventions get created.

Instead of promoting books by age, they should be promoted by height.

  • Up to 3 feet: picture books
  • 3’ to 4’: Early readers
  • 4’ to 5’: Middle grade
  • 5’ to 5’ 1”:  YA
  • 5’ 1” and over: Adult

Just like there are advanced readers by age, there will be short people with more advanced reading levels and very tall infants. But that’s OK. This is a guide.

I also realize that YA now has a very small audience. But I don’t write YA, so I don’t care.

A simple height chart at your book store, such as those found in amusement parks, will help consumers find the right section to shop in.

“Excuse me,” a sales person might say. “You’re too tall for that section.”

“I’m not shopping for myself, but for my short husband.”

“Oh. Then can I suggest these early readers?”

Simple. Convenient. And if you want to browse a more advanced section, just wear platform shoes.

Posted in Random Musings, Writing | 3 Comments

So, what now?

This picture has nothing to do with this blog post. But, still … it’s a rock band with ants!

I took an entire day off from novel writing for the first time in a while. I turned in my editorial revisions to The Contagious Colors of Mumpley Middle School (Simon and Schuster, Fall 2013), and a draft of my “Book that I’m not allowed to announce yet but will also be coming out in Fall, 2013” which I will forever refer to as “NATAB” (Not Allowed to Announce Book) until I’m allowed to announce it. I haven’t taken a day off – not a weekend, not a weekday – since February.

You might think it was a joyous, relaxing day. Oh, you would be wrong. I’m miserable when I’m not working on a book. Life doesn’t feel right. It feels empty. Why am I wasting time when I should be working on my next book? What if I never write another book again? But it wasn’t a total waste. I spent time looking at old ideas to see what seemed inspiring.

(I actually have a bunch of books in semi-finished states that need my attention, but I really want to start something new)

But, luckily, I have a lot of pretty good ideas, actually. And I found a silly short story I wrote maybe two years ago (I keep everything I write) and I  thought maybe if I fixed it up it could be a picture book. But then I thought no, it would be a horrible picture book and I’m horrible at writing them. So then I thought … could this be part of a bigger story? And could that bigger story be one of a lot of bigger stories? And the answer is yes to all of that. So this morning I started working on an outline for it, and it would likely be a series, well, it would have to be a series, but it’s way too early to say it will be anything. My ideas always seem pretty good until I start writing them and then most are revealed to be horrible. So, we’ll see. But it feels good, right now at least, to be playing with it.

Posted in Writing | 3 Comments

Words for Said, For Writers

Tagging dialogue is always a challenge. Using the word “said” is the default. It’s invisible. The reader doesn’t even notice it. So unless your speaker is screaming or ranting or whispering, etc. “said” is safe. It reflects basic communication. It lets the dialogue do the talking (pun intended). But if you’re like me, you probably write lots of dialogue and writing “said” a few hundred times doesn’t always cover your bases, and thinking of yet another word for “screamed” or “groaned” can be time consuming. I’ve been working on collecting words for “said” the last few weeks, and organizing them into categories that make sense.

Below is a link to a PDF of a few hundred Words for Said, but I’ve also included them in this post. Enjoy. Use them sparingly in your writing, but use them imaginatively. I hope I’ve saved you some work.

300WordsforSaid

Afraid/Rattled

  • babbled
  • blubbered
  • blurted
  • coughed
  • fretted
  • gasped
  • gurgled
  • jabbered
  • prattled
  • quaked
  • quivered
  • rambled
  • rattled
  • shuddered
  • sobbed
  • sputtered
  • squeaked
  • stammered
  • stuttered
  • trembled
  • whimpered

Anger/Annoyance

  • accused
  • argued
  • asserted
  • barked
  • bawled
  • beefed
  • bellowed
  • bellyached
  • bitched
  • carped
  • chastised
  • complained
  • countered
  • cried
  • demanded
  • disagreed
  • exclaimed
  • fumed
  • fussed
  • groaned
  • griped
  • grouched
  • groused
  • growled
  • grumbled
  • grunted
  • hissed
  • howled
  • huffed
  • kvetched
  • moaned
  • mocked
  • nagged
  • objected
  • protested
  • quipped
  • raged
  • ranted
  • raved
  • retorted
  • roared
  • sassed
  • scoffed
  • scolded
  • screamed
  • screeched
  • seethed
  • shouted
  • shrieked
  • snapped
  • snarled
  • sneered
  • sputtered
  • squawked
  • stormed
  • swore
  • taunted
  • wailed
  • whined
  • yammered

Even-Keeled/Misc.

  • acknowledged
  • added
  • addressed
  • admitted
  • advised
  • began
  • chatted
  • chattered
  • chimed in
  • commented
  • concluded
  • continued
  • described
  • dictated
  • disclosed
  • drawled
  • droned
  • echoed
  • explained
  • expressed
  • gabbed
  • instructed
  • lectured
  • lisped
  • maintained
  • mentioned
  • mused
  • observed
  • offered
  • noted
  • pointed out
  • pondered
  • posed
  • preached
  • professed
  • quoted
  • reasoned
  • recalled
  • reckoned
  • related
  • remarked
  • repeated
  • replied
  • reported
  • restated
  • said
  • speculated
  • spoke
  • started
  • stated
  • suggested
  • surmised
  • told
  • uttered
  • voiced
  • vowed

Happy/Laughing           

  • affirmed
  • approved
  • assured
  • bubbled
  • cheered
  • chortled
  • chuckled
  • clucked
  • comforted
  • crooned
  • encouraged
  • giggled
  • guffawed
  • jeered
  • jested
  • joked
  • laughed
  • lilted
  • marveled
  • praised
  • gushed
  • quipped
  • reassured
  • rejoiced
  • sang
  • smirked
  • snickered
  • snorted
  • trilled

wondered

Loudly/Forcefully

  • announced
  • barked
  • bawled
  • beckoned
  • begged
  • bellowed
  • beseeched
  • bleated
  • blurted
  • boasted
  • boomed
  • bossed
  • bragged
  • broadcast
  • burst out
  • cajoled
  • called
  • coaxed
  • commanded
  • cried
  • crowed
  • declared
  • dictated
  • demanded
  • emphasized
  • exclaimed
  • hollered
  • howled
  • implored
  • insisted
  • interrupted
  • ordered
  • pestered
  • pleaded
  • pressed
  • proclaimed
  • provoked
  • ordered
  • roared
  • screamed
  • screeched
  • shouted
  • shrieked
  • squawked
  • taunted
  • teased
  • thundered
  • touted
  • trumpeted
  • urged
  • vowed
  • wailed
  • warned
  • yammered
  • yawped
  • yelled
  • yelped
  • yowled

Questions/Answers

  • accepted
  • acknowledged
  • admitted
  • affirmed
  • agreed
  • answered
  • argued
  • asked
  • asserted
  • assured
  • avowed
  • claimed
  • clarified
  • conceded
  • confessed
  • corrected
  • countered
  • disagreed
  • divulged
  • explained
  • informed
  • inquired
  • interrogated
  • persuaded
  • posed
  • pried
  • proposed
  • puzzled
  • queried
  • questioned
  • quizzed
  • rejoined
  • replied
  • requested
  • responded
  • retorted
  • suggested

Softly/Meekly

  • breathed
  • cautioned
  • choked
  • comforted
  • confided
  • croaked
  • mumbled
  • murmured
  • muttered
  • purred
  • sighed
  • sputtered
  • squeaked
  • thought aloud
  • whispered

whimpered

Unhappy           

  • agonized
  • bawled
  • blubbered
  • cried
  • grieved
  • groaned
  • lamented
  • mourned
  • sighed
  • sniffled
  • sniveled
  • sobbed
  • wailed
  • wept
  • whimpered
Posted in Random Musings, Writing | 4 Comments